Dear Fellow Survivor Blog: Here is what I know

Good morning, brothers,

Yesterday was rough, but the Lord carried me through. Today is a new day. I do not know what today holds. But God does. And I am confident that he will carry me through it all, just as he has promised.

My main task today is to write an article “answering” the question, “How can God condemn people who have never heard the gospel?” My main point will be that we get nowhere speculating over things God has not definitively told us.

What we can do is cling to the truths and promises that God has clearly given us.

I have many questions for God. Why did he allow the abuse to happen at all? Why did he allow me to sit imprisoned in my own fake self-made world of lies for nearly 40 years before he helped me recognize what had happened to me and start healing? Why won’t he just remove all these lying and useless thoughts from my mind now that I know what’s real and true? Couldn’t he have accomplished the good he’s doing right now in a way that was less painful for me?

I will never have the answers to those questions on this side of heaven, and perhaps not even in heaven. But that does not mean that God has left me with nothing. There is so much that God HAS clearly told me that I can hold on to–or, more accurately, that holds on to me.

I KNOW God loves me. He sent his Son to live, die, and rise again for me. He’s made me his own in baptism. NOTHING that has happened to me can ever negate God’s unfathomable love for me.

I KNOW God has remarkably and wondrously made me. Every part of my body is and has always been exactly as it should be. There is absolutely no reason for me to compare myself with ANYONE else. God designed my body specifically for me, and it is amazing.

I KNOW God does work ALL things, even abuse, for the good of his people, including me. He didn’t want the abuse or the pain it caused me to happen. But he is using it for my good, for the good of many others, and for his glory. That is another evidence of his unfathomable love.

I KNOW that even these persistent, unwanted thoughts (which J—–, I believe rightly, has characterized as my thorn in the flesh) also will serve for my good. What Satan means for my harm, God will use for my good as these continuing thoughts drive me ever deeper into the arms of my Savior. The ghosts may continue to haunt me. But they cannot harm me. I’m safe in my Savior’s arms. And NOTHING will ever drag me away from him.

I know that this got even longer than usual today. I guess I just needed to remind myself of some things after a rough couple of days. Thanks so much for listening and for being there. God’s richest blessings to you as well, dear brothers, as you also rest in your Savior’s strong and loving arms, confident in his unfailing care for you.