Preventing Abuse: Too Damaged For Church
“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life” 1 Timothy 1:15-16.
You were hurt, you were bruised, and terrible words were said to you. You were told you were a burden and a problem. Maybe your parents communicated to you that your existence ruined their lives. Their lives would have been more like they had hoped if you hadn’t come along and changed everything. Because of you, they had to sacrifice so much they would rather be doing.
You feel like you are so damaged that you are beyond repair. You deal with all sorts of difficulties because of your past abuse. You struggle to trust, feel like a burden, and sometimes feel like the world would be better without you.
You often feel like staying away from the church because of the damage done to you. You believe other believers don’t deserve to have to deal with you. You should do them a favor and remove yourself from their lives.
Is this true, or is it just in your head? Has anyone at your church given you a reason to think they wish you would leave? Do they really think this, or is it just your past experiences with your parent(s) that make you feel that everyone may feel the same way?
That is certainly not how God wants anyone to feel. He took Paul, a man who had killed Christians, and called him to faith and to serve as an apostle. This same Paul gives us the “trustworthy saying” that Jesus died for all people, even himself, the “chief of sinners.”
The church isn’t for perfect people who have their lives completely together. While others at your church may not have suffered abuse, they have their struggles, and no one at church is perfect. If they were, they wouldn’t need a savior.
God gave us the church so we could gather with other Christians and help each other in our times of need. “Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way fulfill the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2 EHV. When we bear each other’s burdens, we find opportunities to encourage one another with the word of God.
Bearing our burdens alone allows the devil to emerge and plant doubts in our minds. If left unchallenged, these doubts could turn into beliefs that God’s promises are not true. “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “today,” so that none of you are hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” Galatians 3:13 EHV.
When we let other Christians help us bear our burdens, they have opportunities to listen to us, validate what we went through, remind us of God’s promises, and encourage us in our faith. When we help others bear their burdens, we can remind them of Jesus’ love. This is not a burden but a God-given privilege that is part of the blessing of a church family.
Michelle Markgraf, Freedom for the Captives
