Tag Archive for: ministry to survivors

Dear Survivor

Dear Survivor: Your victories are worth celebrating.

,
Dear Fellow Survivor, I’d like to share with you a victory I experienced this morning. I was able to work out at the gym and shower and dress in the locker room without falling into a spiral of mental and emotional turmoil.

Dear Survivor: You Are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

,
Dear Fellow Survivor, I’ve already shared with you that one of the most long-lasting effects of the abuse I experienced is a profoundly distorted view of my body (something called body dysmorphia). The specific details of the abuse seared onto my mind images of myself and beliefs about myself that plague me to this day. For decades, it was impossible for me to see my body as it actually was. Even today, I often struggle with that. It’s hard for me to put into words just how much pain this terribly skewed view of my body has caused me.

Dear Survivor: God Is Bringing Good Out Of What You’ve Experienced

,
Dear Fellow Survivor, In a previous letter, I assured you that none of us has ever been alone. God has always been with us, even when the abuse we experienced was happening. So, if God was there and saw everything that was happening, why didn’t he stop it?

Dear Survivor: God Will Enable You To Believe The Truth

,
Dear Fellow Survivor, This is my sixth letter to you. I’ve written you to tell you that you are a child of God. I’ve assured you that Jesus is with you in your struggles. I’ve told you that the abuse you experienced is not your fault. And I’ve reassured you that you’re not alone.

Dear Survivor: You Are Not Alone

,
Dear Fellow Survivor, Few things in my life have made me feel quite as isolated as having experienced sexual abuse. First, there was the isolation of the abuse itself. The secrecy. The shame. The inability to tell anyone what was going on. Then there was the isolation I felt when I began to realize that what I had experienced all those years ago was sexual abuse. No one I knew had experienced anything like what I had experienced. (At least, that’s what I thought.) And the ongoing shame made it seem unthinkable that I could ever share what had happened to me with anyone else, including my wife.

Dear Survivor: It’s Not Your Fault

,
Dear Fellow Survivor, One of the many difficult things I struggled with as I came to terms with the abuse that I experienced was this question: How much of the abuse was I responsible for?

Dear Survivor: It’s OK To Struggle

,
I’ve mentioned that one of the effects of the abuse I experienced is a grossly distorted body image, something that psychologists call body dysmorphic disorder. I have been plagued by this ever since the abuse happened. It has gotten a lot better since I’ve started therapy with my counselor. But it’s not completely gone. It tends to come in cycles. I’m feeling good for a while and then, wham! Something triggers it and I’m feeling awful again. This past week was one of those weeks.
You Are a Child of God

Dear Survivor: You Are A Child of God

,
Dear Fellow Survivor, When I was twelve days old, my parents brought me to the baptismal font in front of our church. My father baptized me in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. And I became a child of God.
Allow Me to Introduce Myself

Dear Survivor: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

,
Dear Fellow Survivor, Allow me to introduce myself. I am a child of God. I am a husband and a father. I am a pastor. And I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. 
Misbeliefs

Misbeliefs: I’m All Alone

,
Many survivors of childhood abuse report feelings of being alone in the world, that no one can understand them. These feelings are deeply rooted in the abuse, where the perpetrator methodically created a private space of, “Don’t tell.” They come from feelings of shame survivors experience, making them unwilling to disclose their abuse.
Misbeliefs

Misbeliefs: It’s My Fault

,
Survivors of trauma, whether childhood abuse, sexual assault, or domestic abuse, share a belief that the abuse was their fault. A person abused as a child may believe they were not loveable enough, or they could have stopped the abuse. Children who are sexually abused by a caregiver believe that they acted in a way that made the perpetrator want to have sex with them.
Coping with Flashbacks

Coping with Flashbacks

,
People who have experienced trauma may experience flashbacks in their everyday lives. Flashbacks can be intense and bring back the emotions and senses experienced during the trauma. These memories are felt as if they are currently happening, rather than something that occurred in the past.
What Is A Trigger?

What Is A Trigger?

,
Experiencing a sudden onset of the feelings and emotions that you felt during an abusive situation is a common experience for survivors. This is because the brain records and stores traumatic memories differently from non-traumatic ones. Trauma floods the body with hormones that turn off certain parts of the brain and make other parts go into overdrive.
Counseling Survivors

Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse

,
Book review of Dr. Diane Langberg’s Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse.
Rid of My Disgrace

Rid of My Disgrace

, , , ,
Book review of Justin and Lindsey Holcomb’s Rid of My Disgrace.
On the Threshold of Hope

On the Threshold of Hope – Part Two

, , , ,
Part two of our review of Dr. Diane Langberg’s On the Threshold of Hope.
Article What Would Walter Do

What Would Walther Do?

,
Counselors and theologians failing to understand the dynamics of child sexual abuse cases often apply the concept of law and gospel incorrectly. When this happens, perpetrators are emboldened to offend again and many victims leave the church.
A Lutheran Approach

A Lutheran Approach

,
Using the writings of Martin Luther and C.F.W. Walther, this article outlines a Christian approach to ministering to victims and perpetrators of child abuse. The article begins on page 21 of this issue of Caring Connections.